I am a 16-year-old, closeted, bisexual girl. I’ve only recently come out to myself as that. I had never been comfortable with calling myself “straight” despite it being the norm. And even though, looking back now I can totally see all the signs that clearly implied I was anything but straight. I realised it the most when I got a really huge crush on one of my classmates. I couldn’t deny it anymore. I liked girls and I had to accept it. Except that was not easy considering I grew up in a society where I’ve been constantly reminded that being “gay” is unnatural, bad, and wrong. So despite being a supporter of the LGBTQ+ community before I realised I was gay, I didn’t want to admit that I was gay or bi or pan or whatever. I don’t know what it really is, but it’s easier to accept others. Accepting yourself is way hard and different. It’s almost like you don’t wanna be an outcast in the society. You just wanna fit it. That happened in my case too, I kept ignoring my attraction for women telling myself it was just mere admiration that everyone feels. Except it wasn’t. I hated myself for being bi. I prayed to God every night asking him to somehow turn me straight because being anything but cis or straight was definitely a sin. And the thing is, in Bangladesh, the situation is way worse than most other countries. A lot of people are only homophobic because they just simply don’t have an idea about the LGBT community in the first place. They don’t know so many people all around the world belong to this community and we’re not unnatural and weird. It took me a while but eventually I found pride in myself. I accepted who I am and I knew I was born this way and there wasn’t anything wrong with it. So, I came out myself first. It wasn’t hard for me to find a label. I was quite comfortable with them term “bi”. The first person I came out to was my best friend because I knew she would never judge me or leave me and obviously I had a lot of conversations with her about me questioning my sexuality beforehand. So, I told her. And she had been the most supportive she could be! I’ve come out to a couple of my other close friends as well. I’m still not out to my parents or any of my family members besides one of my cousins. I know for a fact that my mother thinks homosexuality is a mental illness. I have no idea how to come out to my parents. That makes me feel bad about myself everyday. It makes me wish I wasn’t who I am.
Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia)