Coming Out

When I was 15, I was pretty naive about using Facebook. There was this panel back then on Facebook Desktop where you can see others’ activity. I used to like stuff related to our community and was in some certain posh groups. So, basically those activities showed up in one of my classmate’s activity panel and later that day at school she literally told everyone, but I constantly denied and acted as if I was a computer illiterate, told ’em it was hacked! I was scared to death, I thought this might affect my image. They might mock about it, and it would initially be discussed with my dad.

But later that year (Standard IX), I had to face another unfortunate event. So, basically, I wrote on my bio (favorite quotes) the acronym of the girl’s name whom I liked. I don’t know how my classmates found out! Maybe they were constantly stalking my profile? Anyway, I had to later lie it’s someone else, not her, it’s a guy! My other classmates were being supportive, they were literally like, “I believe, you’re not a lesbian!” I was like, huh? Okay, honey! That year I came out to my best friend, and she was super chilled about it! She’s still the best! And later I remained closeted and was very careful about my Facebook actions. No more drama, thak bhai!

Alhamdulillah, this May I have come out publicly on Facebook and the same homophobic classmates (close friends) of mine have accepted me gracefully. My siblings/cousins were supportive from the very beginning. Well, I was able to come out publicly because of [name removed for privacy & safety reasons] (ex). If she wouldn’t have left, it would have never fulfilled the main purpose of my suicide attempt! 😊

Well, I gained more strength being in this condition. I know I was being unreasonable to myself, but anyway what’s done is done! Am bedridden almost for six months now, do pray for me!

Kintu bhai gay meye amar list e nai e bolte gele! Shob straight! 🤦

Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia )

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