Prothomotoi nijer porichoy ta diye shuru kora jak.HAe ami akjon meye.Bolte didha nei j ami lesbian.Word tar shathe porichito hoi 4 years age.Nijer shomporke clear dharonata pai shompurno virtual world theke.Ar amar jonno jehetu prothom badha ta family thekei so family shomporke kichu boli…
Amar baba akjon doctor,ma house-wife ar chotto akta bhai k nie amader family.Puro poribar k ak bakke tule dhorte hole bola jay shobai e kom beshi practicing muslim,educated & restricted!Babar khub adorer akmatro meye ami.. baba tar chele ke nieo etota shopno dekhenna jotota amake nie dekhen.Ar babar ei bhalobasha ar family’r shomman er kotha bhebe ajo ami nijeke ak kholosher bhitore bondi kore rekhechi.Majhe majhe khub icche hoy,nijeke prokash korar tobe voy o tototai hoy,jodi baba mene na ney!Khub chotobela thekei amar meyeder bhalo lagto,bishesh kore amar e friend ebong shohopathi der.. ar cheleder dress ei proti chilam khub attracted.Akhono obossho basay t-shirt pora hoy.Shunte ektu hasshokor holeo jotoduur mone pore ami last class three te babar shathe panjaabi pajama ar tupi pore moshjid e namaz porte giyechilam(ha ha).Chotobela thekei family,relative er kache ami khub nomro,bhodro ar lajuk shobhaber akta meye.Amar get-up ar 10 ta meyer motoi shabhabik.Kawke na bolle tar pokkhe amar prokrito porichoy jana ba bujha ta oshombhob,karon kokhonoi kawke bujhte deini.Akhon amar age 18.Dhakar top 10 college er aktay ami porasuna korchi.Porashunay borabor e valo chilam,akhono achi.Story ta class 9 er.
School life e onek bondhu chilo,ekhono ache.Tobe story ta jake nie ,sheye amar e best friend chilo.friendship er shuru thekei take amar khub bhalo lagto.Khub kore chaitam take amar feelings er kothata boli,kintu bhoy hoto jodi sheye amake nie negatively bhabe ar amake chere chole jay!Tai ar bola hoyni.Tobe take chara kichui bhabte partamna.Tobe frienship ta enjoy kortam.Onekdin por dekha hole sheye amake hug korto,shei hug tar jonnoi ami chaitam lobg akta vacation er1Sheye jokhon amar hat dhore hat to,sheta chilo prithibir shobchaite shukhokor onubhuti.Valoi cholchilo shob,tobe ek porjaye amader majhe elo akta 3rd person!AMAR friend ta akta cheler shathe relation e joralo,ar sheye chilo amader e classmate.Bepar ta ami konobhabei mante parchilamna.Directly na hok indirectly amar friend take bojhate chaitamsheye jeno relation ta continue na kore.Tobe o akprokar pagol chilo cheletar jonno,amio ar force korlaamna.But day by day notice korchilam,sheye amar theke aste aste dure shore jacchilo,ar amar shathe jotokkhon thakto shudhu oi cheletar beparei kotha bolto!Ami manoshik bhabe prochur bhenge porlam ebong er karone amar porasunar obosthawo kharap hocchilo.Khub depression er moddho diye jacchilam and thn kichuta strong holam ebong nijer kotha bhebe school change korar decision nilam.But family theke konobhabei amake school change korar bepare support kora hocchilona.Ak porjaye onekta icche korei exam er result kharap korlam.Baba o prochur tension e pore gelen ebong amake akta chance dilen school chage korar but shorto chilo bhalo result korte hobe.Ami amar goal shamne nie akshomoy chole ashlam oke chere,jokhon chole ashbo,o amake dhore khuub kanna korechilo!Ami oke bolte parini tokhon amar bhitor die ki jacchilo!Jai hok,school chere chole ashar por tar shathe jogajog tawo komiye dite laglam ei bhebe j weakness barte pare.Akshomoy totally off hoye gelo amader moddhokar jogajog!AMI allah’r rahmate ekhon bhalo achi ar ssc result tawo alhumdulillah bhalo hoyechilo.GPA-5 peye ami babake khushi korte parlam.Shedin hotath jante parlam baba amar biyer jonno chele thik kore rekhechen,ar shei cheleta ar kew noy,amar e fupato bhai!Jodio aro koyek year por!Amishune khub tension korchilam ei bhebe j biye?Etato impossible amar life e!Ami amar vai ke keno onno kono chelekei amar pokkhe grohon kora ba mene neya possible na!But babake ki kore bojhai?Amon obosthay ektu relax howar jonno ak married cousin er shathe onekta shahosh kore amr bishoy kom beshi khule boli tar theke kichu advice pawar ashay.But tini amake hotash korlen,ak gaal heshe jobab dilen ami naki manoshick bhabe sick & ami jeno druto akjon psychologist dekhai!HUH amar question etai j ami sick hote jabo keno.. ami to amon e,by born! Ami jodi karo kache sick hoi tahole taraw amar kache sick!Uni amar cousin holeo bolte didha nei j tini akjon educated person hoyeyo faka mostishker akjon manush!Amader society theke alway amader lgbt community take nie hashi tamasha hoye esheche,hocche ar hobe.Tai bole nijeke ar koto lukiye rakha jay?AJ akta na oshonkho chele amake propose korcheye diner por din.Onekta opriyo mitthe bolei tader k reject korchi.Tara jane ami relation e achi.. !AR koto din amn mitthar asroy nie shamne jabo?Khub kore icche hoy,shobaike janiye dei j ami to ar 10 ta shabhabik meyer moto noi!Ajo bashay aka thakle cheleder moto dress up pori ar chobi tuli… evabei nijeke ektu valo rakhar chesta!Dinsheshe ami akta meye,etai shotti!Ar mene nite parchina.Ami amar future nie khub e chintito!Majhe majhe icche hoy nijeke shesh kore dei!Porokkhon e bhabte hoy,”suicide korle porer jiboneo to ami shanti pabona!’…
#AMAR story ta oneker jonnoi biroktir karon hoye darabe karon eto boro story age share hoyeche kina janina.. tobe apnara positive bhabe nile ami nahoy ta support hishebei nilaam,Nahoy bhablam ‘amar pashe ar keu na thakuk,apnara achen!’EI group er shobar jonno amar shuvokamona roilo,bhalo thakben shobai.
Source: BAH( Bangladesh Against Homophobia)