Life of a teen bisexual girl: Hi, I’m 19 years old & yeah, BISEXUAL. I was confused because I didn’t know that I can be with a girl. The reason is, I never fantasized about a girl. So, my childhood was full of abusive stories. My grandpa tried to rape me when I was only 7, my cousin’s friend also tried to abuse me at the age of 10 & the main story began when my brother continuously raped me night after night. I couldn’t say anything because I was really afraid. I didn’t even make any noise while he did this shit to me. These stories make me feel afraid of men. Though my first love was a guy, because back then I thought this is normal, everyone is engaging with a boy so why not me! My bad luck, he cheated on me. He just wanted to build up a physical connection with me. Whatever, we broke up. After that, I was alone. I didn’t have that many friends in high school. Suddenly, a girl tried to make friendship with me. I was quite alone so I didn’t mind doing a friendship. She was kinda different from my other friends. She cared about me a lot, she tried to get close to me. One day she kissed me. That was the first kiss we had. I don’t know why it felt good. I never even think of it. Eventually, we came closer. We love each other a lot. She was possessive & insecure. She didn’t like it if I talk to guys. Though those guys are my childhood friends, she didn’t allow me to hang out with them. Meanwhile, she was also cheating on me. She went into a relationship with a guy & didn’t even bother to tell me. She didn’t break up with me because she said she needed both of us. I really got hurt & I was sick for a month. I tried to commit suicide. Those depression days just killed me from inside. I was hospitalized for a couple of days. I SURVIVED. I was alone again. One day, someone came, maybe Allah was testing me again. I couldn’t stop falling for her. She showed her unconditional feelings towards me. I felt she’s a genuine girl. We are in a relationship now. With her, I spent the best 4 months of my life. Then I moved to abroad. It was my family’s decision to send me abroad. Some of my family members know that I’m in a relationship with a girl. They don’t want me to continue it. Also, things just changed after coming here. We have a huge difference in time. So we can’t communicate that much. We do fight regularly over simple matters. Sometimes, we talk about separation. She believes it’s not working out properly. She meant a lot to me. I don’t wanna let her go. I can’t stop her either because I’m not sure if in the end I will be able to stand by her or not. I don’t wanna hurt my parents. Moreover, I don’t wanna make them feel low in front of the toxic society, just because I’m bisexual. It feels like dying everyday. No one to talk, no one to share.
Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia )