I’m listening to Above & Beyond Acoustic’s “Sun & Moon” while writing this story. Every single line is making me think about my straight best friend whom I’ve fallen in love with. “Love” – what a beautiful feeling, isn’t it? For me, love is divine. Love is the most sacred thing in the world.
I’ve always been attracted to men. All my life, I’ve felt ashamed for being like this. I had decided to stay a virgin my whole life so that I don’t have to worry about my sexuality. But fate had planned something else. I entered university last year and the very first sight of him made me fall in love with him. I’m a person of introverted nature, so making friends isn’t easy for me. But I started feeling so much for him that I approached and we became friends. I moved into the same flat as him. His room is right in front of my room. Classes, parties, hangouts, home – we’re together everywhere. I was suppressing my feelings for him because I knew he had a girlfriend (three-year long serious relationship). I did everything in my power to make him feel like the most loved person in the world.
But I was getting hurt every time I saw him talking to his girlfriend. I was getting hurt being in a single-sided love. So i decided to open up. I proposed him this January. He’s really a great person and open-minded. He accepted me for being gay but told me that he can’t feel the same way as I feel because he’s straight. But he was very supportive. He asked to stay friends like before. But for me it was more hurtful to spend any more time with him.
I asked him for some time to stay away from each other because I needed time to remove him from my head. For one month, he patiently waited. He was there for me but I was foolish. I tried to stay away from him because even today, I still can’t help falling for him. We’ve made so many memories together that every single thing reminds me of him. All I want to say is I’ll never get over you. I can never get over you. You were everything to me. You are everything to me. I love you. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
To all the queer fellas: Never ever fall for a straight person. You will only hurt yourself.
Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia)