Someone

I am going to be 23 this year. Since my early boyhood, I got the feeling that I am different. I don’t know how but I started to feel something for boys. The first person I got interested in was a teacher of mine. I never told him though. Then I wanted to find out what’s going on with me. I studied online, different pages, articles, and watched porn. After that I realized that I am gay, I have feelings for men. I was about 14/15 at that time.

Later, I opened a fake FB account. I wanted to know people from this world. That was another experience. People were only interested in intimacy. I thought I could find someone, one person that will stay with me, love me. It didn’t take long to break my misconception. So I went with the flow.

Lately, I feel very alone, broken. I don’t have close friends whom I can talk about this, not in this world or in my school/college/varsity. Sometimes, I feel like I am depressed. I really wish I had someone to talk to. Someone who can love me, care for me. Is there someone for me?

Source: BAH (Bangladesh Against Homophobia)

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