The Scream

Sometimes, there’s no one to reach out to!! Literally NO ONE!! And to mention… depression was never a problem toward this society. Being a lesbian is so hard and having depression is bonus for your hardships. I’m a lesbian and a gender-fluid person, and I’m dealing with a huge inferiority and depression in me, besides there’s no one to make myself comfortable or just to hold my tears back. I tried to commit suicide also by swallowing pills or by cutting myself! I’m too scared to come out to my family, besides I just can’t make them understand that girly clothing is just too much misfit for me. I love a girl since 7 years… Unfortunately, I’m suffering from depression because of her… Everything is fine between us but still feel a subconscious anxiety because of her… she is straight by the way. I hate where I live, I hate my Biology classes, every pupil of the class speaks only about sex… everything seems so hyper-sexual to me!! I feel a total misfit everywhere… I cut myself and harm myself all of a sudden… I get triggered out of nothing… Even now I just can’t make myself calm down… I Don’t know what is tearing me up!! I don’t know what’s letting me down!! I just cannot recover my pain which I got from her, I just cannot make myself fit in with everything, I just cannot be myself either!! I don’t know how to take a break from this conservative family and society… There is literally no one to hear me out!! My grades are going down, my mental condition isn’t good enough, my surrounding isn’t supportive at all, I’m feeling emotional anxiety because the girl whom I love, besides I’m not even to commit suicide properly… Everything is getting out of my hand!! I just want to scream with bottom of my heart!!! I just can’t take it anymore!!!

Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia)

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