The Uncertainty

Hi, I’m a 21-year-old man. I’ve written before and the response I got gave me A LOT of strength.

I met someone, online. And we’ve been chatting for months now. I told him not to call me because:

1. My family is BIG and hiding a call is risky. I never did that so they might get suspicious.

2. I’m introverted. I tried so hard to hide my sexuality that I ended up hiding myself completely. I lost all my confidence and I have trouble communicating, especially with someone I’ve never met.

Anyway, I’ve been meaning to meet him in person. He is sweet and gentle, and naughty… But I’m afraid. I’ve never done this before…

On the one hand, I long to be held, I long for a touch, a kiss. But I’m also terrified. What if someone I know finds out? What if he is not who he claims to be? What if I completely F it all up?

It is not sex that I want, in fact I sometimes wonder if I’m less interested in sex than the other gays. I just want to be in a relationship and I curse myself for my cowardliness. I have no idea what to do.

Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia)

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