Unrequited Love

It’s a 17-year-old depressed girl who is going through some shit. I was in eleventh grade when I first saw her. I felt something. I can’t explain anything. I was about to change my college. My parents came to talk to the principal. Then I saw her and I stopped. I was like, sh*t she is really cute. I have never seen a girl like her, what the heck! And ami or dikei takiye chilam r kono sense chilo na. Tokhon obossho bujhi nai kichu. After one hour she left that place and went to her classroom. Ami bhabtesilam “areee aree aree just stay na?” But I couldn’t utter a single word. Even ami ekhon porjonto tar sathe kotha boli nai (hi hello o na).

By the way, I didn’t understand what was going on? I was like super straight but oke dekhar por I don’t know… Protidin bunk disi just oke dekhar jonno. Lecturer k bole class theke bar hoye oke dekhe r class e jai nai. After 8 months ami bujhi I like her. Then I was like, Oh My God! I am about to date a girl or something like that?! Maybe! Seriously?? I just imagined her face and I felt like nothing matters, I love her and I can do anything for her.

I remember one day I waited straight one hour just to see her again. I regularly waited outside of the lab room. Now it’s 2019 but still I wait for her. If she comes to me, I can do anything, trust me. I will come out. My family won’t understand. But at least I will try.

Some days ago… When she used to be on Facebook, I stalked her profile … Oreee gender – female and interest in – female. I was shocked. Then I came to know that she was or she is in a relationship with her best friend. Two of my juniors told me so. They were confused though. They used the word ‘maybe’. And the girl they were talking about is her best friend, who is with her since childhood. I saw them together many times. Even when she goes to washroom she is with her.

I don’t know. I just know that I love her a lot and maybe I am not gonna tell her anything like that. Yesterday was my last day of college. I don’t have her number or anything. She doesn’t use Facebook now. I don’t know what to do. I just want to see her. Just want to see her smiling again. That smile…. I am literally crying from seven days. My heart hurts. I just want say her ki I love youuuuuu… I am ready to fight for you. Just gimme a kiss. I f**king love.. you… will u be mine???? No? Okay but just stay… Stay na… stay okaaay. Please.

Source: BAH ( Bangladesh Against Homophobia )

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