We had a dream

I am a lesbian. I haven’t liked boys since I was a child. I didn’t understand what it was like when I was a child. When I was in class 6, I started to understand that I like girls more. I didn’t see anyone with love till 8th grade, most of the time I had to be alone. Suddenly meeting with her, slowly becoming good friends, love from friendship. We had a strong feeling towards each other, we loved each other very much. I always wanted to keep our subject public but she always wanted to keep me secret. When we finished our high school journey, there was a change in her, feeling like before, love, caring, all these things seem to be lost somewhere, I was carrying the relationship alone. If I complained about the relationship, she would say that she was not in a good mood due to family problems, but there were family problems I had more than her. But I love her truly that’s why whenever she came to see me all the troubles would have gone away. But in her case, the matter was not like that, I don’t know why. I don’t know when I took the responsibility of everything she needs. I always try to keep her happy, I always try to fulfill her needs. I was always thinking and trying to figure out how to fix everything. I was still fighting alone that when we are together, everything will be like mind. We had so many thoughts, dreams. We had so many dreams full of love. I just wanted to love her and keep her happy. In this way, I was in a relationship for the last 8 years due to careless negligence. After 8 years of relationship she thought we were just friends, ha ha ha. She got married 2 months ago. I still can’t believe the matter. How could she forget a relationship arranged in love with so many gulp years and get married to someone in an instant. How could she throw everything away and leave. It feels like death, I loved her so much, my heart was filled with her, but now my heart is empty, and this pain is horrible, believe me this pain is just killing me. 8 years later now I and my sorted dreams and thoughts are left alone. I have nothing to do, and I can not put her together anyway. Now all I want is for her to be good. I believe in love and friendship, maybe there is someone for me who is right for me who will love me a lot. I wish for someone who is right for me, please meet me soon please… I also want love, care, affection… and please don’t leave me…

Source: BAH (Bangladesh Against Homophobia)

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