It was a busy day. After the evening shift, I took a bus to come home as usual. It was a normal day as always. Ten minutes later a guy sat next to me. I don’t usually talk to strangers on the bus. But he was in the same profession as me. The same age as me too. So I started a conversation with him. Simple conversation like, where he lives, where he is working, what his exam results are etc. He asked the same questions to me. We talked a lot about family members, future job plans, dreams etc. We were stuck in traffic. So we started to talk more. I mean more personal.
Suddenly he asked me, “Do you have any relationship with anyone?
At first I answered no. Then I thought, “Wait, why did I say no? I do have a relationship. Why do I have to lie to someone that I don’t have a relationship with anyone though I have a relationship with a boy? That doesn’t seem right.”
So I answered him the second time, “I do have a relationship.”
Then he asked me, “Do your family know about your relationship?”
I simply replied, “My brothers and sisters know about my relationship. But my mom doesn’t know about it.”
He asked again, “Why? Because your girlfriend doesn’t want you to tell your mom about her or she feels insecure about that or you don’t want to?”
After hearing this question I froze. I knew why my mom did not know anything about my relationship. Because I had not told her that I was gay. And I could not tell him that as well.
Then I started thinking why I could not tell him the reason why I had not told my mom about my relationship. That did not seem right. In my mouth there was a full answer ready to burst.
So I took my courage and said to him, “I can’t tell my mom about my relationship because he is a boy. Actually I don’t have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend.” And he replied, “Ohhhh!”
It feels very awkward because the words just come out from my mouth. And he was a stranger whom I met on the bus 2 hours ago.
After 10 second of silence, I asked him, “Did I just tell you that I had a boyfriend?” He answered, “Yeap.”
I didn’t know if I was blushing or not. But the situation was so intense. It’s like, what did I just say and why? He was not my friend. All he did was ask whether I had a relationship or not.
But I just came out to him because it did not feel right. Why should I stay silent or say no in spite of having a boyfriend! I just couldn’t stay silent. I just couldn’t accept why I had to stay silent. I should feel more comfortable telling anyone whom I am in a relationship with. Why do I have to lie every time someone asks if I have a relationship or not?
Then out of nowhere he said, “Well, having a good friend is great.”
Well I still don’t know what he meant by that. But the answer wasn’t that bad. The beautiful thing was he still talked to me after I had come out to him. We talked the rest of the way. And we became friends on facebook.
After having this experience I feel like I just took a big step in my life. But I still think that we should have educated ourselves and others as well. So that we can live the life we want.
I want to live in a society where I can “be myself.” And where I can answer, “No, I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do have a boyfriend.”